On social media the other day I shared this post (above pic) and spoke about how this picture is one of my favourites, and how I keep it on the bookshelf in my office. It reminds me of my authentic self, the woman I was years ago, before marriage, children, a home, a dog and all that comes with those things. A woman who, 30 plus years ago, had an ocean of possibilities before her, plus high hopes and big dreams for the future. In the post I talked about how, regardless of the many responsibilities we all have today, the bills we have to pay, and the people we are charged with caring for, it is a MUST, to have ongoing and constantly renewing hopes and dreams, because they are the things that make life worth living. More on that below…
Autumn Revitalized Relationships Re-Cap: An on-line group for women wanting to fix their relationships and thrive.
And just like that – it is December!
Some say that time speeds up the older you get, and I would have to agree with this, as this fall flew by! We started our Revitalized Relationships group in September and wrapped it up just the other week.
How would I characterize the RR fall group? Great information, great women, great questions, great insights and great conversations! With everything being geared towards being one’s best self, so that one’s marriage or relationship can reflect that. It’s a win – win!
Kudos to the amazing women who showed up for the RR program and put in the work!
In today’s busy and pressing world, finding time and space to carve out of your day to focus solely on oneself and one’s significant relationship is not an easy thing to do, but when you do so, and you make yourself and your intimate relationship a priority, you will ALWAYS benefit, now and in the future.
What the RR Modules Reminded Me of…
Going through the RR Modules these past weeks, reminded me that a huge piece of creating a satisfying and lasting relationship, involves staying connected to one’s true self.
If you aren’t connected to your authentic self, how can you truly connect with another?
There is no way around it. To achieve happiness and freedom as an individual or within a relationship, you need to be developing yourself consistently. Frequently I catch myself drifting off, getting detached from my inner wisdom, my purpose, and losing a bit of focus around my priorities. Of course this is normal, as I am a human being, which means that I, like you, am a WIP (work in progress). Wherever we are on the ‘enlightenment / spiritual / wisdom / evolution continuum’ is A-ok. Even if others seem to ‘have it all together’ or may seem wiser, or without problems – it doesn’t matter, so much of life is an illusion and you never really know what is happening for people behind the scenes.
Our job is not to focus on what others are doing, or how they are being, or what they are having, our job is to focus on ourselves and where ever we are is perfect. What really matters is that we don’t give in to distraction or denial, and that we continue to ‘do the work’, which means ferreting out our blind spots, identifying what is and what isn’t working in our life and relationship, and trying and do better, so we can create better.
The Revitalized Relationships teachings are impactful because they help us to examine things from the bottom up, as opposed to jumping ahead and working from the ‘top down’. For example, if you cannot identify what your own needs and desires are, let alone express these needs to your partner, how are you going to have a satisfying relationship? With the RR process participants are directed to quiet their mind, get in touch with their authentic self, examine behaviours, and then implement steps that will affect positive change. If we want to have a loving, connected relationship, make an impact in our communities and / or change the world for the better, then we must start with ourselves.
If we can strive to be just 1% better than the day before, then we are winning!
And by winning I mean doing what we need to do to stay present and connected to our authentic selves and our meaningful priorities, which of course includes our intimate relationship. When we do this we benefit, our relationship benefits, our children and family benefits, and our society benefits. This is powerful stuff!
Want to Take Your Relationship from Crumbling to Connected in 2025?
If you are interested in joining the Revitalized Relationships program in 2025 so you can take your relationship from conflict to contented, then get on the wait list!
Send us an email to support@elizabethritchie.com and let us know that you are interested and we will be in touch in the new year!
So about that pic…
Some of you follow me on social media, and some of you don’t, so for those who don’t I will give you the back story on the above pic of me. It was was taken in Hong Kong, on Lantau Island to be exact (the largest of HK’s islands) and on that hot and humid day I was on holidays, and on a hike with a friend. We were on route to the famous giant Buddha statue, which sat atop a mountain peak and I was sweating buckets on that climb, as you can probably make out from the picture! At that stage in my life I was living in Sapporo, Japan, teaching English and travelling when I could. When I think back to the dreams my young self had then, they were what I was experiencing daily, living and working overseas, writing (I had a couple of articles published while I lived there) and travelling. I was footloose and fancy free and living out my dreams, with hardly any responsibilities – no kids, no pet, no significant other and minimal bills.
Now that I am older and have others I am responsible for, such as my son with special needs who likely will never live independently, and my aging parents, life is more complicated to be sure. Yet this is exactly why we need to continue to hold on to our hopes and dreams now. Goals to shoot for, trips we want to take, things we want to accomplish, how we wish to serve our communities etc….because those are the things that light us up and make life worth living. And the amazing thing is that you can continue to see all the possibilities available to you, regardless of whether you are 15 years old or 95 years old!
And this is why every now and then I like to look at this picture, and see that young woman and remind myself that she still lives in me, and we still have a lot of stuff to do! Looking at this younger version of myself, living out her dreams, helps me to instantly connect with my deepest nature again.
Holding on to Your Dreams Can Only Help Your Relationship
So if you and your partner continue to nurture your own individual hopes and dreams, as well as your shared couple goals, then that is going to keep your relationship golden – ever changing and thriving. As I wrote in this post would you rather stand in a cold, fresh, running, mountain stream, or a still, stagnant pool of water?
I know what I would choose!
What is Your Picture?
If you have a picture like this, one of your younger self, that reminds you of your passions and inspires you to keep having fun and creating possibilities for your life, and if it isn’t already out where you can see it, then consider pulling it out and have a look at it, or better yet, place it where you can see it each day. It will serve as a reminder to always be getting in touch with the REAL you, so you can consistently be in touch with your core desires and needs, and then on a regular basis communicate them to your partner.
What is Going on for You Now?
Does your partner know what your present day dreams and hopes are?
Do you know what theirs are?
If not, then you have work to do my friend!
Don’t just talk about kids activities, schedules, bill paying and the household finances with your partner. Talk about the stuff that reminds you of who you are at your essence, and the many things you still want to do with your one precious life. That is what will keep your life and relationship flowing like a cold, refreshing mountain stream, as opposed to leaving things to become like a still, stagnant pool.
Master the Holidays!
Up from the vault!
I made this video awhile back and it still resonates! It will help you get out ahead of all things to do with the holidays and ensure you are having the Christmas season you really want. I watched it again last week and it helped me to get my priorities straight for the coming festive weeks.
Even if you have watched it previously , it’s worth a rewatch!
That’s it from me my friend.
Enjoy the first week of December!
*Reminder – If you are keen to create the highest, brightest version of yourself, along with your highest, brightest marriage or relationship, then send us an email to support@elizabethritchie.com and ask to be put on the Revitalized Relationships wait list for 2025.
xo
Elizabeth
