Can a Gratitude Practice Actually Improve Your Relationship and Life?
The positive psychology research says; ‘Yes’.
Giving thanks really can make you happier as gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, enjoy good experiences, improve their health, deal with tough times and build stronger relationships. More on that below…
For us Canadians, today is our Thanksgiving holiday. So if you are Canadian, then Happy Thanksgiving to you! And if you are not, then a Happy Monday to you!
This past weekend we have had the most glorious weather, warm and sunny, with the dazzling yellow, orange and red of autumn leaves everywhere you look. This morning we went to a local park with our dog, and as we walked, we commented on the beauty of the park, the bird song in the trees and how, after a gust of wind, the dry leaves would rain down on our heads. It was quite magical! We were grateful for it being a day off, for being together, for the lovely weather, for this spacious green space to stroll in complete with cricket and pickle ball games happening, and later, when we stopped for coffee and dim sum (weird combination I know!) we were grateful for the friendly faces and conversation from the owners of the cafe.
A Gratitude Practice for EVERY day (not just on Thanksgiving Day) – Why you will benefit!
There have been many things to be grateful for recently; like presenting Module 3 to the Revitalized Relationships group (can’t believe we are at Week 4 already, half way through!), like having a good chat with a friend over the phone, a lunch out with my husband, roses still blooming in our garden, my son, who just turned 16, having his first driving practice with his Dad – lots of good stuff going on! However one thing occurred the other day that really tickled my fancy, and on the surface it wasn’t a big thing at all.
The other morning my husband got up at 6AM while I slept in and then later he brought me tea in bed. (I had been the one on the early bird shift the previous day and yes, I do bring him tea or coffee in bed but he probably brings it to me more.)
After enjoying my easy wake up time I shared with him how being able to linger in bed while sipping a hot cup of tea was such a luxury to me, more so than if he presented me with a giant diamond ring (well maybe that’s an overstatement as I certainly wouldn’t be sad if he brought me a giant diamond ring lol). However, any way you slice it, enjoying my tea in bed made me feel like a queen, and I let him know how much I appreciated this gesture.
Do you have a Gratitude Practice?
Before I get up in the morning, even if it is my turn to take the early 6AM breakfast shift, the first thing I do upon waking is think about what I am grateful for.
Let’s see…
…The obvious one was my husband bringing me tea in bed ! but beyond that, here are some things I regularly reflect on.
Being able to actually wake up is one thing, as many people around the world did NOT wake up today. Waking up and feeling healthy is another thing I express gratitude for, as others wake up feeling ill or in hospital. I have hot water coming out of my taps which makes showering a pleasure, I have electricity wired into my house to boil the water for my tea, I have kids sleeping safe and sound in their beds while in other places children are not that lucky.
There is much to be thankful for.
And it only takes about 60 seconds to run this list through my mind.
If you don’t already have one, I invite you to consider starting a similar type of gratitude practice for, as evidenced by the research, doing so will enhance your sense of well being, improve your relationships and foster positivity.
These are not small things!
See if you can start with thinking of 10 things in your life that you are grateful for, before you have to jump out of bed in the morning. Even if you wake up cranky, reflecting on 10 positive things about your life will go a long way in terms of positively setting the tone for the day. Or you can get yourself a gratitude journal and before you hit the hay each night, jot down 10 things that you are grateful for and go to sleep with a smile on your face. You may even have better dreams!
In the Revitalized Relationship group for women who are wanting to improve their relationships, we talk about the importance of gratitude and appreciation in our lives and how it is imperative to recognize all the good stuff our partners are doing and to share our appreciation with them. When life gets challenging, as it does for all of us at one point or another, it is easy to focus on the not so good stuff, like the things others fail to do, or how they let us down, or all the ways things are not working in our relationships and life, but that will not get us very far will it?
By being present and intentional we are better positioned to focus on all the good aspects of our lives and all the positive qualities of our partner, and believe me, our partners can certainly sense when we are viewing them with irritation and disappointment as opposed to viewing them with love and appreciation. And once they sense that love and appreciation flowing how do you think they will respond? They will drop their defences, relax and respond in a similar way to you.
It’s a win – win.
That is it from me friend!
Hope you have a marvellous Monday and or Thanksgiving Day.
Until next time,
xo
Elizabeth
