On this day of all things LOVE I wanted to have a chat about TV (you weren’t expecting that were you! lol) as well as key elements of love; connection to self, vulnerability, emotional safety and communication. In a relationship where one or both partners are disconnected from themselves (not in tune with their inner wisdom), and where emotional safety and vulnerability are absent, that relationship will inevitably falter. More on this and how you can transform your relationship for the better below…
And just like that we are approaching Spring…
It has been awhile hasn’t it!?
I hope 2024 has been treating you well and now here we are, entering into the realm of longer days and crocuses pushing up through the dirt. I also hope you had a wonderful holiday season which seems like such a long time ago now! In December our family travelled to Florence, Italy and it was wonderful experiencing that medieval city decked out in all its Christmas finery.
However after a busy trip filled with stunning art, delicious food and lots of walking, we arrived home and promptly got sick. I spent about a week and a half in bed due to a nasty case of Covid, along with a respiratory infection, and likely the jet lag did not help either. Feeling good these days though!
Thoughts About Love & Life After a TV Binge
So as noted, for the first two weeks of January I was ill and during that time I watched a TON of TV. I even convinced my husband to add an HBO subscription as I was desperate to watch some decent shows that would take my mind off how rotten I was feeling. I really enjoyed The Wire, thought Succession was interesting, but scenes from two other series stuck with me, The White Lotus and True Detective. (I told you I watched a lot! lol)
The White Lotus & Connection to Self
I don’t want to give any spoilers away so I am being careful about what I write here.
The White Lotus is a series about rich people on holiday and follows these mostly unhappy guests at the luxury resort chain called The White Lotus and for the second season of the show it is set in gorgeous Sicily (the first season takes place in Maui). The series also depicts the lives of the staff that wait on the affluent guests which makes for interesting TV! Jennifer Coolidge’s character Tanya McQuoid is a bit of a lost soul and there is a scene where she is speaking with her assistant Portia (see pic below), a younger woman who thinks her job sucks and is broke, and Tanya says something along the lines of;
‘You remind me of myself when I was younger’. Then she adds, ‘I have this kind of hole inside me and I think you might have it too, and you have to take care as that hole can make you do things and bad stuff can happen’.
That scene stood out for me as Tanya, by describing the hollowness she feels (or what we might describe as a disconnection from herself), showed her vulnerability as she spoke her truth to Portia and there was a lot of wisdom in this exchange.
We all have likely experienced a type of hole inside of us at one point of our lives. After a breakup, through not having our needs met as children or as adults, being disappointed by life, losing a job, someone close to us passing away, trauma… these experiences can leave us disconnected from our inner selves for a brief time, or much longer, and we need that connection to our inner wisdom as its job is to steer us in the best direction.
If we rush to fill the emptiness with some kind of distraction, excessive spending, maybe a rebound relationship that isn’t right for us, too much food, drug or alcohol abuse, porn, or constantly numbing out on Netflix or HBO, (being sick doesn’t count!) as Tanya does in The White Lotus, it can lead to harm of self. Jennifer Coolidge’s acting in this series was stand-out (last month she won the Emmy for this role) and after the described scene, the plot quickens and the events that follow are made all the more poignant by that conversation that Tanya had with her young assistant.
True Detective & Emotional Safety and Vulnerability
Recently my husband and I were watching an older season of True Detective (also on HBO), this one starring Rachel McAdams, Colin Farrell, Taylor Kitsch and Vince Vaughn. This series is rather gritty and certainly not for all viewers (the same goes for The White Lotus- it is HBO after all), but I am a mystery fan and once hooked I have to follow the threads to the end.
Colin Farrell’s character in True Detective is Ray Velcoro, a down on his luck cop who has been coerced into working for a crime boss (played by Vince Vaughn) and Rachel McAdam’s character is Ani Bezzerides, a tough police officer who has walled herself off from others for her own emotional protection. For both of them, other than their jobs, they don’t have too much going on (strained family situations) and they are somewhat disconnected from themselves. Ray self-medicates by drinking too much and Ani self-medicates by distancing herself from others and avoiding her emotions.
Through a series of events they end up working together on a case and there is one scene where they are alone and in a stressful spot, where they both share painful truths about their lives. Although they haven’t known each other long, they are able to open up and be vulnerable as they feel safe with each other. They have that essential relationship ingredient- emotional safety, and so are emboldened to speak their truths (which is what great communicators do). As noted above, connection with self, emotional safety, vulnerability and communication are all key components to a thriving relationship.
It is a powerful, beautiful scene, one that captures two people emotionally connecting. This slice of TV, with these two great actors, and the scene in The White Lotus, stayed with me long after the series had finished. Heck I’m writing about these two scenes today which is a testament to their power!
Valentines Day Relationship Check Up & Revitalized Relationships On-line Program for Women
If, after reading the above, you feel like your connection to your inner wisdom could be stronger, and you feel that the lack of that connection for yourself (or for your partner) could be a source of issues in your relationship,
OR
if you feel that the emotional safety, vulnerability and communication needed to keep your relationship healthy is missing or could be improved on in some way, then you would likely benefit from my new Revitalized Relationships on-line program for women.
This is the inaugural launch of this group program so anyone who signs on will be a founding member – woo hoo!
After working with women individually, as well as with couples, and over longer time frames (over many months instead of weeks), this Revitalized Relationship program has taken the best of the research backed tools and concepts out there so you can access the quickest, most efficient knowledge and techniques that will transform your relationship for the better.
Many research interviews have been done by me to get to this point but I feel the time is right to get to work and help women who know that their relationships could be better, to improve things.
Before I was married in my mid-thirties I went on sooooo many dates and had several relationships that did not work out, and let’s just say it was a bit of a roller coaster ride at times! There were phases when my connection to self wasn’t great and I was deficit in a lot of relationship skill areas but through these sometimes painful experiences I learned ALOT.
I have used these personal experiences, along with my MA in Counselling Psychology, my twenty plus years in the coaching / consulting field, my work as a clinical counsellor and couples counsellor, and have combined it with recent training I have been doing with an Institute that is the gold standard in relationship training and research (The Gottman Institute), and all this has come together to create this new Revitalized Relationships program for women.
I love the material in this program and can’t wait to share it with those that will benefit!
AND for this inaugural group the Revitalized Relationships program is being offered at a very reasonable price so if you want in don’t wait until the next go round as the price will be increasing.
Check out Revitalized Relationships
If you have any questions about the program get in touch at support@elizabethritchie.com
And on this Valentine’s Day regardless of whether you are in a couple or single I hope you are giving yourself a big dose of LOVE!
xo
Elizabeth
